


Playing His Role

by HixyStix (GaiaMyles)



Series: Gabriel Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e08 Changing Channels, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Gen, Season 5 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaMyles/pseuds/HixyStix
Summary: The Winchesters escape TV Land without learning the Trickster's true identity, but Gabriel's not through with them just yet.Written for the 2019 Gabriel Bingo tumblr challenge.





	Playing His Role

**Author's Note:**

> Fulfills the squares Lollipop and Casa Erotica for the 2019 Gabriel Bingo.
> 
> Originally posted on [ihaveallthesefeelsokay](https://ihaveallthesefeelsokay.tumblr.com/post/184542077688/gabriel-bingo-fic-playing-his-role).

_“Please.  Just five minutes.  Hear us out.”_

_“Sure.  Tell you what: survive the next twenty-four hours, we’ll talk.”_

_“Oh, you’re somebody’s bitch.”_

_“Don’t you ever, ever presume to know what I am.”_

 

Dean looked down at his firefighter’s uniform and back up at the horizon.  He and Sam were somewhere flat – maybe Kansas or Nebraska – and looking at a mushroom cloud in what must be the Rockies.

Great.  A post-apocalyptic show.  What ‘role’ did the Trickster want this time?  Putting out fires? 

People rushed around them franticly and Dean had to sidestep to keep from being run over by a mom carrying a baby.

Jeez.  You’d think it was the end of the world or something.

Okay, so it might be the end outside of this TV world.  But in here, Dean was pretty sure life was going to go on – if people would just _calm down_.

Wait.  Maybe that was the job here.  “Sammy,” he said.  “We’re supposed to stop rioting, you think?”

Sam shrugged.  “I’d’ve figured we’d be in cop uniforms for that.”

Speaking of cop uniforms, an older man in one came up to them with a swagger and looked Sam up and down.  “My men and I are headed out to look for the missing school bus, Chief.  Think you got things here?”

“Uh, sure thing, uh, Sheriff.”

The man – and Dean noticed his sheriff’s star this time – nodded and put his hat on as he walked off.

Around them, lights flickered and went off, leaving the street in the dark.

“Great,” muttered Dean.  Just like before, he somehow knew exactly what to say.  “How could we lose power?”

Another fireman appeared near them.  “The bomb could’ve fried the relays.”

“That’s possible,” Dean said.

“They could’ve blown up the power station for all we know,” said Sam.

A rugged-looking dark-skinned man approached them.  “Guys?  It was probably just a drain on the system from Denver.”

Denver, then.  So from the angle… yeah, they were probably in Kansas. 

“You a science teacher?” he asked the newcomer.

With a laugh, the man introduced himself.  “Robert Hawkins.”

Sam held out his hand.  “Chief Winchester.”

Around them, the town continued to panic while three sheriff’s cars drove off.

“Guess we’re on our own now,” Dean said.

“Great.  How much longer do we have?” Sam asked quietly.

Dean reflexively at his wrist, but the watch was useless in TV land.  “Gotta be getting close to the twenty-four hour mark.”

“I sure hope so,” muttered Sam as this Hawkins guy turned back to them.

“Your town does roadwork at night, doesn’t it?”

Sam and Dean looked at each other.  Hell if they actually knew, but Sam said yes anyway and Dean followed some other firefighters to a garage across the street from the parking lot they were in.

Huh.  Roadwork had never been one of the jobs he’d taken to make ends meet, but maybe he should try it.  The equipment was kinda fun to play with.

Sam helped crank up the equipment and it lit up the sky – way too bright for road lamps.

Dean shielded his face and next thing he knew, he was staring at blue sky and a harsh sun.

“Shit,” said Sam, barely able to be heard over the whine of a plane engine close by.  “ _Lost_.”

“Son of a bitch,” cursed Dean, although at least this was another world where women dressed scantily.  In fact, if he remembered right, that Shannon chick went sunning in her bathing suit pretty early…

Sam yawned.  “Dean, we’d better find a world we can sleep in soon or I’m going to fall asleep standing up.”

Yeah.  They’d gone Trickster-only-knew how many hours since he first trapped them here – and who knew many days outside, since Cas had said they’d been gone for days the one time they’d seen him.

Dean hoped the Trickster had just blocked Cas from breaking in, not killed him or hurt him somehow.  They needed the angel on their side for this upcoming fight.

The fight his stupid brother wanted to bring the stupid Trickster in on.  If they made it out of here, the Trickster better pony up or he was _definitely_ gonna gank a demigod.

Dean noticed Sam swaying on his feet.  Okay, sleep.  Maybe they could get a nap in somewhere in this world, where at least it was warm and nice – except for the polar bears and smoke monsters.

But not before people were waving them over to help pull the wounded from beneath the plane’s wings.  Remembering from the show that one of the wings fell, Dean couldn’t say no.

He _did_ tell Sam to go find a shady spot and sit down.  Dean was tired but still going.  Sam looked dead on his feet.

And maybe, just maybe, if they stopped to rest, the Trickster would let them.

Ah, who was Dean kidding?  The Trickster wanted them dead as much as any other monster.  They’d probably get eaten by the polar bear.

“Do you have a pen?” someone said to Dean as he hauled a guy out from under the plane’s wing and away from the engine.  “I need a pen.”

“Sorry, kid,” Dean said.  “Keep looking.”

Once everyone was safe, Dean trudged back up the beach to where Sam was wiped out and snoring.  He sat down under the closest tree, leaning back against the trunk, trying to keep his eyes open to watch out for Sam.

It wasn’t working.

 

Gabriel leaned back in his chair, feet propped up on his red ottoman and dog in his lap, watching the Winchesters doze on the retro TV in front of him.  His fingers itched to send some danger their way to wake them up – they only had three hours left to go, after all.  He ought to keep them jumping.

But they’d caught on, hadn’t they?  He couldn’t get them to understand the full lesson until he went and talked to them.  And humans being built as they were, they’d probably listen better after a few hours sleep.

With a gesture, Gabriel paused the _Lost_ simulation and let Sam and Dean rest.

As the last hour of their ‘day’ came to a close, he changed the setting and brought them back to the _Dr. Sexy_ hospital, this time as patients.  Gabriel was rather proud of that set – he’d been able to embarrass Dean by exposing his obsession with the show _and_ embarrass Sam by making him uncomfortable with that doctor’s flirting.

Yeah, that had been a good set-up.

Gabriel popped himself into the hospital room where the Winchesters slept, checked that he’d tied them down and gagged them with breathing apparatuses, smoothed down Dr. Sexy’s coat, and snapped his fingers – a little bit of flair for when he was being watched, even if it was just by his own creations.

It took them a second to orient themselves, but the Winchester quickly began fighting the straps holding them down and coughing around the tubes in their throats.

“Calm down, buckos,” Gabriel drawled.  “I’ll ungag you.  I _did_ promise we would talk.”

He took a moment to watch the frustration in their eyes before he stepped back and opened the door to the room.  A rather busty nurse came in and fussed over the boys as she removed their intubations.  Gabriel added a little wiggle to her walk, trying not to laugh at Dean’s eyes following her so blatantly.

Oh, he loved humans, but they were _so_ predictable sometimes.

As soon as the nurse was gone, Dean rasped out a question.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that,” Gabriel said, even though he had.  He snapped again, lubricating Sam and Dean’s throats so they could talk clearly.

“What did you do with Cas, you bastard?”

Ah, that was touching.  Concern for his little bro.  “He’s safe,” Gabriel said simply.  Castiel was caged up in another pocket dimension, locked up tight.  No way was Gabriel going to let him escape until the archangel/Trickster was far away – Castiel could identify him.

“Where is he?” Dean asked again.

“He’s _safe_ , like I told you.  Keep asking and someone might start wondering about you two,” Gabriel teased.  “I’ll let him go at some point.”

“So let us go,” Sam said.  “We did your game.  We played our roles.”

“Ah,” Gabriel said, holding up a finger knowingly.  “That’s _half_ of the game.”

“What’s the other half?”

Wiggling his fingers vaguely towards the windows, Gabriel said, “Play your roles out _there_.”

Glaring, Dean asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, you know.  Sam starring as Lucifer.  Dean starring as Michael.”  Gabriel pointed at each brother in turn.  “Your celebrity death match!  _Play_.  _Your_.  _Roles_.”

Sam looked betrayed.  “You _want_ us to say yes to those sons of bitches?”

No, Gabriel didn’t.  He’d much rather the Winchesters find a way to stop this thing.  That wasn’t possible, though.  Destiny couldn’t be avoided, not when it’d been preordained by Father, so the only thing to do was get it over with as quickly as possible.  Like ripping off a cosmic Band-Aid.  “Hells yeah!  Let’s light this candle!”

“We do that, the world will end,” Sam tried to argue.

“Yeah?” Gabriel sneered, letting some of his frustration bleed out.  “And whose fault is that?  Who popped Lucifer out of the box?  Hm?”

Sam had the gall to look affronted.  Gabriel turned to Dean before he continued.

“Look, it’s started,” he explained.  “You started it.  It can’t be stopped.  So let’s get it over with!”

The brothers glared at Gabriel, who popped off with a charming grin to try and tamp down his anger.

“Heaven or Hell, which side you on?” Dean asked.

Oh, no.  Gabriel was not going to play that game.  “Get this straight, asshole: don’t _ever_ presume to know me,” he snapped, dropping the cheerful façade.  “I work for myself.  You’re stuck with me and only me right now.  And listen closely, because here’s what’s gonna happen: you’re gonna suck it up, _accept_ your responsibilities, and _play the roles_ that destiny has chosen for you.”

“And if we don’t?” Sam said, daring to sass.

Gabriel’s fingers itched.  It would be so easy to send them back into TV Land and leave them there forever, but soon Heaven and Hell would send emissaries to look for the vessels.  He didn’t have much time left to keep them.

“You will,” he said with assurance.  “You’ll say yes because you’ll want to, in the end.  Because you have to.”

“We won’t.”  Dean struggled against the restraints.  “You think you’ll fare well if we say yes?  You’re just a demigod.  Michael and Lucifer will eat you up.”

Gabriel very pointedly didn’t react.  Truth was, his big brothers might very well wipe the floor with him.  He’d learned some, well, _tricks_ that might give him an edge, but they’d only work once, with one of his brothers.  Best to lay low and stay out of things as long as he could.

Besides, he’d promised Loki.

“I _think_ ,” he said, “that I’ll survive better than a couple of humans wanted by the big dogs.  I _think_ that whichever way this goes, it’s better for the world if it goes quickly.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this out of the kindness of your own heart, is that it?”  Dean laughed.  “Sorry, buddy, not buying it.”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed and Sam looked at his brother.  “Dean…”

“What did I tell you, you arrogant prick?” Gabriel seethed.  “I told you to suck it up because you have no other choice.  Or would you rather stay in TV land forever, _without_ me letting you stop and rest?”

“No,” Sam said firmly.  “We get what you want.  We just don’t get _why_.”

“I told you.  You can’t stop Armageddon, so might as well ride it out.”

“We’ve heard from both Heaven and Hell,” Dean said.  “Doesn’t sound like there’s much room for anything but angels and demons in their plans.  You really think you’ll survive?”

“I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?” Gabriel asked.  “And let me tell you, Heaven and Hell don’t care much for pagans.”

“Pagan?” Sam asked.  “You’re a pagan god?  Thought Tricksters were just demigods.”

‘Just’ demigods.  Hah.  Sam wasn’t entirely wrong but Gabriel would classify all pagans – even the nasty Norse pantheon – as demigods.  After all, he knew the real God and his Father wasn’t anything like the pagans.  Some of the pagans were loving, involved parents, for one.

“Which one are you?” Dean asked.  “Grumpy, Sneezy, or Douchey?”

Gabriel glared at Dean, but answered.  “Loki.  They call me Loki.”

“Loki?  As in the Norse god?” Sam sounded bewildered.

“That’s right.  You thought you were tangling with some low-level mischief maker?  Puh- _lease_.”  Gabriel spun, doing a little twirl to show off.  “I play in the big league, boys.”

“Okay, so you’re a big dog,” snapped Dean.  “But that doesn’t make you bigger than an archangel.  If we say yes and they find out you tortured us…”  He trailed off, leaving the threat unspoken.

Gabriel had considered that.  It was almost certain that his brothers would see him in Sam and Dean’s memories and realize he was still around.  It’s why he had a contingency plan – as soon as one of them said yes, he was going to ground.  Maybe Loki – the real Loki – would help hide him again.

Why not?  It’d worked the first time and he’d kept his promise.  If not, he could always fortify a pocket universe and seal himself off from the world.  It’d suck, being all alone with only his creations to entertain him, but he could do it.

Funny.  Maybe that’s how Dad felt about the universes he created.  Maybe that’s why he left.

He waved his hand, dismissing Dean’s threat.  “You think I don’t have plans?  Try again.”  He smiled and patted Sam’s leg, making him thrash against the restraints again.  “Like I said, you’re going to say ‘yes’ or you’re my playthings forever.  And I have quite the imagination,” he warned.

Going still under his hand, Sam managed to speak through clenched teeth.  “We aren’t going to say yes without a fight, you know.”

Of course they weren’t.  They wouldn’t be his brothers’ true vessels if they went to their destiny quietly.  “But you will say yes.  Once you realize it’s hopeless, you’ll say yes.  When you see what Michael and Lucifer do to the Earth, you’ll wish you said yes sooner.”

“Fine,” grumbled Dean.  “Let us go and if we can’t find a way to stop it, we’ll say yes.”

Gabriel could tell Dean was lying – souls pulsed in a certain way when humans hid the truth – but Loki couldn’t, so Gabriel played along.  “Soon.  If you can’t find a way to stop it soon, like say, three months from now.  February.  Make it Valentine’s Day, so you remember it.”  He paused.  “No, make it the day after.  I’ll let you boys pick up some lonely chicks on Valentine’s so you go out on a high note,” he offered magnanimously.

“Okay,” said Sam.  “We’ll do it.”

Sam lied, too.  Gabriel wasn’t surprised.  Still, this gave him an out – he _had_ to get rid of the Winchesters.  He considered dumping them at the gates of Heaven – Michael wanted the fight, had always wanted the fight, so he’d be honorable and deliver Sam to Lucifer – but decided to keep his word.

You never knew how humans would surprise you, after all.

“I’ll be watching you,” Gabriel cautioned.  “Don’t try and double-cross me, kiddos, or you’ll regret it.”

The Winchesters swore up and down they’d keep their promises.

Filthy little liars.  Gabriel would have to come up with other ways to nudge them into submission.

He did have one big ace up his sleeve, though.  “All right.  I’ll let you go, but your friend Castiel is staying with me.  Call it my insurance plan.”

It was obvious from Dean’s face that he didn’t believe Gabriel could actually hold and hurt Castiel.  Hah!  If he properly understood the power Gabriel had, both angelic and pagan, he’d be quaking in his hospital gown and compression socks.

Well, he probably wouldn’t.  Dean was foolhardy like that.  Gabriel remembered a time when humans cowered in fear from angels.  Hell, the very sight of him had struck the human Zachariah mute two millennia ago.

Humans these days.  So brash and unafraid of the very things they should fear most.

Gabriel sighed.  Raising his hand, poised to snap, he shot off a last minute warning.  “Say yes.  Save the world some suffering.”  _Save me from having to watch the storm approach.  Let it just get here and be done with_ , he thought.

He snapped, returning himself to his little apartment and comfy armchair.  On the TV screen, nurses came and made Sam and Dean go through the full discharge procedures of a real hospital – one last little stab at them.  Two hours later, they wandered out of the warehouse and into the world again.

He’d failed, he knew, just like he had at the mystery spot.  Sam and Dean weren’t going to go say ‘yes’ immediately any more than Gabriel was going to pick a side.  But he’d tried.

And he’d try again if he came up with another idea.  But how to convince humans as stubborn as archangels?

Not even the youngest archangel, the one who’d studied his Father’s creations the most, could figure that one out.

 

It was tricky, thanks to Castiel’s Enochian carvings, but using pagan magic, Gabriel kept an eye on the Winchesters that winter, following them from the convention with the prophet – _that_ one, he almost wished he could have seen in person – to the time the kid swapped bodies with Sam.  Another amusing one, since Gabriel knew they weren’t in real trouble – Heaven wouldn’t let those teens kill Dean and if they brought Sam to Lucifer, well, that was in Gabriel’s best interest.

He did step in once, when Anna – whom Gabriel remembered as Ananchel, a curious angel he’d once been fond of – decided to kill Sam Winchester.  With some regret, he bound her up in the same sort of prison he held Castiel in.  He knew, someday, he’d have to kill her or let her go, but he couldn’t allow her to interfere in the Apocalypse any more than she already had.

The Winchesters danced through January, unaware of the danger they’d faced from Anna, and into February, when they met Famine on Valentine’s Day.  Without Castiel, they came closer to dying than Gabriel would have liked, but he wasn’t prepared to release his baby brother just yet.  He still needed that leverage against the Winchesters.

When he realized Dean held the rings of two Horsemen, Gabriel began to formulate a plan.

He’d known about the key to the Cage since Lucifer went in and Dad gave the rings to the Horsemen for safe keeping.

He’d just never imagined that humans could take the rings.  But if the Winchesters _could_ depower the Horsemen… well, that would be one big hitch in the ineffable plan.

And if they surprised him even more and tricked one or both of his brothers into the Cage…

Gabriel smiled to himself.  It was miniscule, but he was beginning to see a chance for everyone to live.  He just had to see how the Winchesters fared from here on out.  If they gave in like they’d promised, well, that was simply Plan A working.

He pocketed Plan B in case he needed it.

In the meantime, he needed to show up and make some noise because the Winchesters hadn’t kept their promise.  Preferably after Sam detoxed from the demon blood and they were gone from Bobby Singer’s house – that man was just a little too astute for Gabriel’s taste.

 

Sam leaned against the window of the Impala, tired to his core.  He finally felt like himself again after three full days of going cold turkey, but he could stand to have another eight hours of sleep.

Dean was anxious, though, not wanting to stay someplace as obvious as Bobby’s house any longer than necessary in case angels or demons were keeping an eye on it.

Billboards passed every mile or so, the only lights on the highway besides the rare car.

 _KEEP YOUR PROMISES_ , read one that went by.

Huh.  Odd message but surely it made sense to someone.

The next one said _YOU LIED._

Okay, that was weird.

“Did you see those last two billboards?” he asked Dean.

“The one for the Boobie Bungalow and the ‘REPENT NOW’ sign?”

Sam frowned.  “No.  The one about promises and the one about lying.”

Dean laughed once.  “Think you’re seeing things, Sammy.  Get some sleep.”

Keeping quiet after that, Sam kept his eyes peeled for the next sign.

Sure enough, it was a message.  _I’M TALKING TO YOU, SAM._

“Dean, that billboard had my name on it,” he said, getting antsy.  In the back of his mind, their lies to the Trickster popped up.  Shit.  Were they about to have another run-in with the monster?

_LOOK IN THE BACKSEAT._

Sam turned around cautiously and almost startled when he realized it wasn’t empty.

Spread out across the leather bench seat was the Trickster, legs crossed and lollipop hanging from his lips.

“Dean…” Sam said softly.

The Trickster grinned and sat up – silently – before taking the lollipop from his mouth.  “Heya, guys.”

“ _Fuck_!” yelled Dean.  He swerved and almost ran off the road.  Once he got his composure, he glared into the rearview mirror.  “What the hell, Loki?  It was freaky enough when Cas used to do that; I don’t need you making me wreck, too.”

Sam held back a comment.  Dean was being quite brash with Loki, but the Trickster hadn’t killed them outright yet, so maybe it was okay.

“Seeing if you guys had forgotten about me,” Loki drawled.  “Seems like you must’ve, since you’re still here and not being ridden by Michael and Lucifer.”

“We’re not yet convinced it’s hopeless,” Sam argued, even though he knew Loki had given them a deadline and they’d blown right past it.

“Uh-huh.  Right.”  Loki popped the lollipop in and out of his mouth between sentences.  The clacking of it against his teeth was making Sam’s skin crawl.  The Trickster was probably doing it on purpose.

He leaned forward and clapped a hand on each brother’s shoulder, squeezing hard enough to hurt.  “I recall you boys swore to me you’d say yes by Valentine’s if another solution didn’t present itself and hey, it’s February eighteenth and the Apocalypse is still on the docket.  You wouldn’t have lied to me, would you?”

“We’re not doing a damn thing until you let Cas go,” Dean hissed.  “What have you done with him?”

Sam probably wasn’t supposed to know that Dean had prayed to Cas every night since TV land.  He’d prayed a time or two himself.  He didn’t know if Cas could hear them, but between the two of them, they tried to keep their friend updated.  Tried to let him know he wasn’t forgotten.

They’d spent weeks at first, trying to figure out how to force the Trickster’s hand and make him release Cas.  Of course, they’d come up with nothing.

“Castiel is safe.”  The same thing the Trickster had said back in TV land.

“Safe?  _Safe_?  He’s an angel; that could mean you stashed him at the bottom of the ocean and he could be ‘safe.’  What the hell did you do to him?” Dean argued.

Sam wasn’t so sure provoking the Trickster was a good idea and his thoughts were proved right when the air in the car started to get prickly and he could _swear_ he saw Loki’s eyes flash.

“I told you he’s safe,” Loki snapped.  “I didn’t lie, unlike some people in this car.  What happened to your promises?  I ought to drag you to the gates of Heaven and Hell myself.”

There was something in his voice that Sam could just about put his finger on.  He dared to guess.  “But you don’t want to do that, do you?  You want to stay far away from Heaven and Hell, otherwise you would have already done that.”

Loki turned to him sharply and Sam felt the weight of his gaze.  How could such a small guy be so menacing?  “I haven’t done it because I keep the promises I make.  I can’t force you to say ‘yes,’ anyway.  I can just try to convince you it’s the only way.”

“Is it the only way?” Dean cut back in.  “You keep saying that.  Everyone keeps saying that.  But I don’t buy it.  There’s always a way to pull the plug.”

“Yeah.  The plug is being pulled,” said Loki.  “It’s called the Apocalypse.”

Dean glared at the Trickster.  “Still don’t buy it.  Why aren’t you trying to help us, anyway?  You oughta want to keep your schtick going and that’s not gonna be possible when there aren’t any humans left.  You gonna try giving a demon its just desserts?  An angel?” 

Sam appreciated that Dean was using his argument from three months ago, but wasn’t sure how relevant it was now.  Loki had made it pretty clear he wanted them to be the vessels.

There was something weird about his insistence, but Sam hadn’t figured it out yet.

“I might,” said Loki petulantly.  “Some of them deserve more than that.”

Dean snorted.  “That’s for sure.  Buncha self-righteous dicks.  Angels are worse than any human I’ve ever met.”

A queer smile crossed the Trickster’s face.  He let go of their shoulders – _finally_ ; Sam’s had started to cramp – and leaned back.  “So they are,” he said.  “But that still doesn’t solve our problem.  What am I going to do with you two?”

“Appreciate our plucky, can-do attitudes?”

Loki actually laughed at that.  “Nice one, Dean.  Wish I could let that be it.”

“Look, we’re going to figure out something,” Sam said.  “Just give us time.”

“While the world suffers from Death walking across it?”  The Trickster pursed his lips and nodded.  “Sure.  Because that’s great for everyone.”

“You can’t tell me you aren’t trying to brainstorm an escape,” Dean said.

Something occurred to Sam.  “And you can’t take us again because Michael and Lucifer will eventually come looking for us.  You can’t keep us hidden away forever or you’d have never let us go before.”

The sarcastic expression on Loki’s face turned into another smile.  “Good one, Sam!  You’re as smart as they say you are.  I was beginning to wonder.”

“So if you can’t take us and you can’t give us to Heaven and Hell, why’d you show up?  Think you could put the fear of– of demigod into us?”

“Worth a shot.”  Loki stretched his arms out.  “And don’t be fooled.  Just because I can’t kidnap you again doesn’t mean I can’t make your lives miserable.  Or Castiel’s.  Or your friend Bobby’s.”

“Don’t you touch Cas or Bobby,” snapped Dean, turning a little to face Loki.  “Or we’ll see what an angel blade does to a Trickster.”

“Less than you’d like,” Loki said lightly.  “It might itch a bit.”

“Sure.”  Dean reset his grip on the steering wheel.  “Haven’t met a thing yet it won’t hurt.”

“Well, now you have.”  Loki entwined his fingers behind his head and leaned back against them.  “So we’re at a standoff now.  Either you go say yes, or I start playing tricks on everyone you know.”

“No,” said Sam.  He didn’t know why he felt the Trickster wouldn’t really hurt them – if he could, he would have already, surely – but he was certain of it.  Certain enough to argue.  “We’re going to keep figuring out a way to stop all this and you’re going to help us or get out of our way.”

“Oh, am I?”  The air prickled a bit again.

Sam held his ground.  “You are.  Because otherwise we’re going to let the real big dogs know where they can find a Norse God who thinks he can play both sides.”

Loki’s eyes flashed again, all humor gone.  “You don’t know where I am,” he said defensively.  “I’m not even really in this car with you.”

Sam wasn’t sure he bought that, either.  “You think they couldn’t find you?  That’s all of Heaven and all of Hell searching for one little god.  My money’s on them.”

“Try me,” seethed Loki before he disappeared suddenly.

“Well that was fun,” said Dean after a minute.  “Empty threats from the Trickster.  Still think he’s all that powerful?”

Sam frowned.  “We know he is.  It’s obvious he’s more powerful than most demons we’ve met.  We just don’t know how he’ll stack up against angels.”

Dean laughed.  “Sure we don’t.  He as much as told us they’ll fry his ass.  He’s scared of the sons of bitches.”

“Right.”  Sam wasn’t so sure about that.  There was a lot of things about Loki that didn’t add up.  He didn’t act like the other pagan gods they’d met.  As far as they knew, he just snacked on sugar, not humans, for one.  He seemed strangely interested in the two of them, for another.  “So are we just going to keep going until he comes back with a real vengeance or are we going to consider saying yes?”

Dean shot him a look.  “Are you crazy?  We’re not saying yes, no matter what.  We’re not playing their game.  Or his game.  Not anymore.”

Sam nodded and went back to watching out the window.  Hopefully Dean was right and they’d figure something out soon.

In the backseat of the Impala, unseen by Sam or Dean, Loki grinned.

 

The letter in Gabriel’s hands burned around the edges without consuming the paper.

Ah, Kali, always a show-off.  She wasn’t light-hearted about it, but it was no wonder Loki – well, Gabriel in full Loki mode – had once fallen for her.  They had more in common than Kali would ever admit.

A gathering of pagans, she’d said.  Loki wasn’t officially invited, but Kali wanted him to show up anyway.

Something deep inside Gabriel told him this was all a bad idea.  Getting pagans together was asking for a battle to break out.  And then Kali telling him about it on the sly…

Well, things with Kali hadn’t ended _that_ well and he’d heard she was with Baldur now – Baldur, who loathed Loki with a fiery passion.  As much as Gabriel would like to see Kali again, this was just fishy.

And then the letter said they were going to trap the Winchesters and use them as bargaining chips–

Yeah, that wasn’t a bad idea at all.  Wasn’t suspicious, either.

Gabriel did something dangerous and exerted some archangelic power to pop into the future – a future where he attended the meeting – and watched it play out.

Faked deaths.  Blood spells.  Slaughter of the pagans.

And Kali had known he was Gabriel when she invited him.

With a deep sigh, he plopped into his armchair.  Walking into a huge trap like that was just stupid and Gabriel wasn’t stupid.  If he didn’t interfere, though, the pagans would all die at Lucifer’s hands.  The Winchesters would be captured by his brother and Sam forced to say yes.

Going would end up interfering with his brother’s war and break his promise to Loki.  Staying back would let Lucifer get the high hand. 

Whistling for Max, Gabriel reached down and helped the dog jump into his lap.  He scratched behind the dog’s ears.  “This is a trap for all of us,” he told the dog wistfully.  “Kali doesn’t know she’s going to her death, though.  If I go, I break my promise and reveal myself to Lucifer.  What do I do?”

Max gave a happy yip and flopped on his side.

Unable to help his smile, Gabriel said, “Lying low and letting it happen might be the smart thing, but it won’t be easy.  Those guys were my family for centuries.”

The dog just craned his neck for more scratches.

Gabriel thought for a while.  He still had Castiel.  He could let him loose now, with the instruction to divert the Winchesters and keep them from stopping at the hotel at all.  Castiel had enough power to break through any of the pagan’s beckoning spells.

But what good would that do, except to delay the inevitable?

The thought of the Horsemen’s rings danced in his head again.  Dean kept two rings in his pocket.  Pestilence was out there, getting ready to make his move.  Death was tethered to Lucifer and mightily unhappy about it.  There was the chance the humans _could_ get those rings, one way or another.  Gabriel just had to tell them how to use them.

That would be picking a side, though.  Was he ready for that?

It was the side of humanity, though.  Not Michael’s side or Lucifer’s side.  He’d be setting himself up against _all_ his brothers.  But humanity was what Dad asked them to choose in the first place, right.

And anyway, Castiel had made that choice.  If a little seraph could stand against Heaven, surely a rogue archangel could, too.

Right, then.  Gabriel knew what choice he had to make.  How to execute it, though?

 

Another stranger walked up to Castiel as he slumped against the walls of his prison.  It’d been at least a week since the Trickster’s last visit – or at least a visit from the Trickster’s creations.

This time, the creation was a child, a young girl.  “Castiel,” it said.  “It’s time to go.”

Castiel didn’t even look up.  “You’re finally going to kill me?”

“No, it’s time to go free.  The Winchesters need you.  The Trickster needs you.”  The little girl sat down in front of Castiel.  “He told you that he’d let you go eventually.”

“The _Trickster_ has told me nothing,” Castiel growled.  “Just figments of his imagination sent to torture me.”

The little girl laughed.  “Torture?  Oh, Castiel, you know torture and you know this isn’t it.  You’ve been in Heaven’s prison before, haven’t you?  At least here there was no brainwashing.”

Well, that was true.  The Trickster didn’t have a Naomi to probe Castiel’s brain.  “What do you want from me?”

“You’re going to keep the Winchesters from stopping at a certain hotel,” the little girl said.  “And you’re going to give them this.”  She handed him a DVD case.

 _CASA EROTICA 13_ , read the cover.  A blonde in lingerie posed under the title.

“What is this?”

“Porn,” said the girl matter-of-factly.  “It’s a good one.  You might learn something if you watch it.”

Castiel knew the girl was simply an extension of the Trickster’s powers, but hearing that come from a child’s mouth was slightly disturbing.

The little girl started giving instructions, detailed enough that Castiel had no questions what he was being asked to do.  He just didn’t know _why_.

“Why can’t they stop at the hotel?”

The little girl gave him a look.  “Because they’ll be in danger if they do.  Lucifer will find them.”

Oh.  Well, okay.  Avoiding Lucifer would be good.  Castiel knew from Sam’s prayers that he was nowhere near close to saying yes, but that Dean had come close enough to run off on a ‘farewell tour’.  Thankfully, Sam had found him and stopped him, even though it meant Sam and Bobby had locked Dean up in Bobby’s panic room.

Dean had come around, though, and they were headed east from Sioux Falls right now.

The Trickster wanted him to pop into their car and make them drive past this Elysian Hotels place, then give them the DVD at the next motel they found.

Did he trust that this wasn’t one of the Trickster’s lessons?  That Castiel wasn’t delivering Sam and Dean straight into the archangels’ hands?

“Stop thinking that,” the little girl said.  “The Trickster keeps his word when he gives it.  He isn’t lying to you now.”

Castiel still wasn’t sure, but he didn’t have much of a choice at the moment.  He could believe the Trickster and be set free or he could continue to stay here, with only Jimmy as company.

“Okay,” said Castiel gruffly.  “I’ll do it.”

The little girl beamed.  “Good!  Ready to go?”

Castiel struggled to his feet.  “Yes.”

“Good.  Remember, the Winchesters are on I-90 now, about to be sent on a detour near the Wisconsin Dells.”

Castiel nodded.  Before he’d finished the motion, though, he found himself standing on an interstate exit in the dark in the pouring rain.

He checked his coat pocket and yes, there was his phone.

Time to call Dean.

 

Gabriel followed Castiel on his TV screen and breathed a sigh of relief when the Impala drove right past the Elysian Fields Hotel.

He’d done his part, right?  He’d given the Winchesters the DVD – and if they watched it, they’d find out how to close the Cage again, hopefully with Lucifer inside.

The thought made Gabriel shudder.  Lucifer had already been trapped by himself for millennia.  Was it cruel to trap him again?  Would Michael try to break in – or would he go after the Winchesters to get the key?

Gabriel didn’t know.  At some point in the past, before Dad left, he might have been able to predict Michael’s actions, but it’d been centuries since he skipped out of Heaven.  Gabriel had changed.  Surely Michael had, too.

There really was no telling how things would go, even if the Winchesters trapped Lucifer again.  The wise thing to do would be to go to ground _now_ and not emerge until it was over.  Let things fall out as they may – for the pagans, for humanity.

Gabriel was a wise being.  Loki was not.

Which one was he these days?

 

Sam, Dean, and Cas huddled around Sam’s laptop in the Briggsviille motel room, watching the opening of _CASA EROTICA 13_.

“The Trickster wanted you to bring this to us?” Sam asked, confused.  Nothing about the DVD seemed out of the ordinary.

“Maybe he’s a fan,” Dean said.  “It _is_ a good one.”

Sam and Cas gave Dean a look.

“Wait,” Dean said, pausing the DVD.  “Look.”

There, on the paused screen, was Loki, dressed in a ridiculous mustache and waiter’s uniform.

“He gave you porn that he’s in?” Dean asked, incredulous.  “Dude’s crazier than I thought.”

Cas huffed.  “He didn’t tell me he was in it.”

“Guys, maybe there’s more to it,” Sam said, though he wasn’t sure himself.  He hit the space bar, unpausing the DVD.

_“I’ve got the kielbasa you ordered.”_

_“Ooh.  Polish?”_

“Hung _arian.”_

They watched as Loki started making out with the woman.  Sam grimaced and noticed everyone looking away.  That was not what they wanted to see.

Suddenly, the moans and kisses stopped.  Loki turned to the screen and, incredibly, started talking to them.

_“Sam.  Dean.  Castiel.  You’re probably wondering what the hell is going on.  Well, if you’re watching this, I’ve picked a side.”_

“’Bout time,” Dean grumbled.

_“Humanity’s got the short straw in this fight.  And you’re right, I don’t want to see the fight happen.  I’ve got my reasons, but… well.  They don’t really matter.  What matters is that I’m betting on you three to stop the Apocalypse.”_

How, Sam wondered.  How could they stop it when the Trickster had spent so much time trying to convince them otherwise?

_“You’ve got zero shot at killing Lucifer.  Sorry!  But you can trap him.  The Cage you sprung Lucifer from?  It’s still down there.  And maybe – just maybe – you can shove his ass back in.  Not that it’ll be easy.  You gotta get the Cage open, trick the devil back into it.  And, uh, oh yeah: avoid Michael and the God Squad.  But hey, details, right?”_

Cas scoffed.  “This is impossible.”

_“Here’s the big secret that Lucifer himself doesn’t even know – the key to the Cage?  It’s out there.  Actually, it’s keys, plural.  Four keys – well, four rings.  From the Horsemen.  You get ‘em all, you got the Cage.  Think you can handle that?”_

Loki looked sad for a moment.  _“Probably not.  But hey, I’ve been wrong before.  And so far, everyone has underestimated you at their peril.  So go get ‘em, tigers.”_

There was a key to the Cage and they had two of the four parts already.  Sam tried to let that sink in, almost not noticing as Loki turned back to the girl in the DVD and started disrobing.

“Oh, ugh,” said Dean, slamming the laptop shut.

“I didn’t know there was a key,” Cas said.

“How did the Trickster know?” Sam wondered.

“He knows more than he should,” Cas said.  He reached over and picked up the DVD case, closing his eyes in concentration.  “There’s pagan magic here.  That’s all I can feel.  If I could meet the Trickster in person…”

“Let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth, okay?” Dean said.  “We’ve got War and Famine’s rings.  That’s two down.  Collect all four?  All we need is Pestilence and Death.”

“Oh, is that all?” Sam asked, rolling his eyes.  They could probably get to Pestilence if he was on the same level as War and Famine.  But Death?  How could anyone mortal defeat Death?

“It’s a plan,” said Dean defensively.  “It’s the only plan we got.”

“What do we do now?”

“Turn around,” Dean said.  “Get this to Bobby.  He can help us make it a better plan.”

Sam couldn’t argue with that.  Maybe Bobby would have an idea how to _find_ Pestilence and Death in the first place, much less defeat them.  They’d been lucky before, stumbling upon War and Famine like they did.  There was no guarantee they’d find the other two through cases.

“First, we gotta sleep, though,” Dean said.  “We’ve had what, maybe three or four hours this week?  Time to crash.  Cas, you keep watch.”

The angel nodded and stood by the motel room door, motionless.  It was weird, but Sam had started to get used to the fact that angels didn’t need sleep.  He moved to the other bed and flopped out, spread-eagle.  Having an actual pillow – crappy as it was – under his head made him relax and soon he was drifting off.

 

Loki was not wise – and apparently Gabriel was more Trickster than archangel these days.

He hung out outside the ballroom doors, waiting for the dramatic moment, because if he didn’t make a dramatic entrance, he wasn’t Loki.

Well, pretending to be Loki.

 _“Who asked you?”_ came Kali’s voice through the doors. 

Yeah, this was his moment.

Gabriel slammed the doors open with a gesture and sashayed in.

“Can’t we all just get along?” he asked sassily.  Every face in the room turned to him, glaring.  Yeah, Loki had not left on good terms.

“Loki,” glowered Baldur.

“Baldur!” he said happily.  “Good seeing you, too!  I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.”

“Why are you here?” Baldur asked.

“To talk about the elephant in the room.”

Ganesh began to stand and Gabriel pointed at him, rolling his eyes.  “ _Not_ you.  The Apocalypse.  We can’t stop it, gang.”

“Of course we can,” said Kali, practically purring.  “If we fight together, the archangels can’t stand against us.”

Kali had never been this naïve in the past.  Too bad Gabriel knew it was an act or he might feel bad for her.

Oh, who was he kidding?  He was here for her.  He felt bad even though she was going to try to kill him.

Baldur cleared his throat.  “Perhaps we should disband for a bit while we sort out our… unwelcome guest.”

“Yes,” said Gabriel, sardonically.  “Why don’t you do that?  Check what Daddy says to do with your black sheep brother.”  He grinned at Odin, who grumbled something under his breath.

Mercury stood, wiping the blood from his chin.  He clapped his hands together.  “We’ll meet back here in ten?  Better to stop now and eat while the food’s still fresh.”

Kali breezed past Gabriel towards the doors.  With a waggle of his eyebrows at Baldur, Gabriel spun and followed her.

She kept her room dark, like always.  As if she didn’t know Gabriel was following her, she started undressing.

Gabriel could play this game.  With a thought, he lit the candles on her table and manifested a rose in his hands.  “ _Bonjour, mon amour_.”

Kali looked at him in the mirror.  “Leave,” she stated.

He knew she didn’t mean it.  “You always did play hard to get,” he purred.

“I’ve moved on,” she said, turning around.  Gabriel’s eyes were drawn to the chain of silver skulls around her waist.  He knew that if she manifested her true form, those would be real skulls.

He always had enjoyed dancing with danger.

“I noticed.”  Gabriel raised his eyebrows.  “Baldur?  _Really_?”

“Baldur’s uncomplicated,” she replied.

“Oh come on,” he said.  “Baldur’s a pretty idiot.  Always has been.  It’s why I killed him.”

She looked at him.  “I never took you for the type.”

“Romantic?”

“Pathetic.”

Gabriel tried not to laugh.  “You’re the one who called me here.”

“Because I thought you might take this seriously.”

Gabriel gestured with the rose as he spoke.  “I’m taking this seriously!  Ship’s sinking.  Time to get off.  I mean, screw this marble.  Let’s go check out Pandora.”  The fictional planet didn’t exist, but he could create it, protect himself and Kali both while Earth sorted itself out.

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Kali argued.

His hopeful face fell.  “I’m afraid it does.”

“If we fight–”

“You die.”

“And what makes you such an expert?” she challenged.

 _I know my brothers.  I know our power._   “I’ve tussled with those winged ass-monkeys once or twice.  Kali, no more tricks,” he said seriously.  “I’m begging you, don’t do this.”

“I have to,” she said.

And that was the Kali he still loved – a fighter to the end.  “Can’t blame me for trying.  Still love me?”

“No.”  Her face didn’t change.

Gabriel’s did.  He softened his look into an ‘I know better’ expression.  It worked.  Kali reached out and grabbed him, pulling him in for a kiss.

Oh, she was still just as good at this as he remembered.

Suddenly, Kali pushed him away and he felt a scratch along his jawline.  She held up her fingers, covered in his blood.

“Ow!” he protested, knowing this was the beginning of the end.

“You must take me for a fool,” she said, voice low and menacing.  “Gabriel, you’re bound to me.  Now and forever.”

Gabriel’s heart sunk.  He’d known this was coming, had seen it, but he’d still hoped that maybe if the Winchesters weren’t here…

Oh, who was he kidding?  He knew and he walked into this trap willingly.

“Kali, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he argued.

“Stop insulting me, Gabriel.  I don’t know where the real Loki is, but you aren’t him and you never have been.  You’re an archangel and you’re here to infiltrate our plan.”

“No, I’m not!  I’m trying to save you,” protested Gabriel.

Kali didn’t say anything.  She dressed again, turned, and walked out of the room again.

This time, Gabriel followed because he had to – he felt the pull of her blood spell deep inside him, impossible to resist.

Oh, he was in trouble.

She led him back into the ballroom and made him sit at the head of the table.  All the gods watched curiously.

“How long have you known?” Gabriel asked.  What had given him away?

“Long enough.”  Okay, so she wasn’t going to let on.  She looked at the rest of the room and spoke louder.  “Well, surprise, surprise.  The Trickster has tricked us.”

“Kali, don’t,” begged Gabriel.  If he got outed, his whole deal with Loki was nullified.  For all he knew, Loki would betray him to his family as soon as he found out.

“You’re mine now,” she said, lowering herself into his lap.  “And you have something I want.”

Gabriel knew what was coming.  Imperceptibly, he duplicated himself, leaving the fake Gabriel in the chair with Kali, while Gabriel was as far away as he could get, a few rooms over.

Kali reached inside the fake’s jacket and pulled out an angel blade.  A fake one Gabriel kept around for moments like this.  “An archangel’s blade,” she continued, standing up again.  “From the archangel Gabriel.”

A murmur went around the room.  Apparently no one but Kali had known about Gabriel.

“Okay, okay!  So I got wings – like Kotex,” the fake said.  “But that doesn’t make me any less right about Lucifer.”

“He’s lying.  He’s a spy,” accused Kali.

“I’m not a spy,” protested the fake.  “I’m a runaway.  I’m _trying_ to save you.  I know my brother, Kali.  He should scare the living crap out of you.  You can’t beat him.  I’ve skipped ahead, seen how this story ends–”

Kali cut him off.  “ _Your_ story.  Not ours.  Westerners, I swear, the sheer arrogance!  You think you’re the only ones on Earth?  You pillage and you butcher in your God’s name.  But you’re not the only religion and he’s not the only God.  And now you think you can just rip the planet apart?  You’re wrong.  There are _billions_ of us and we were here first.  If anyone gets to end this world, it’s me.”  She looked at him piteously.  “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel winced as she stabbed the fake him in the heart with the fake blade.  He made sure to put on a good show, with light coming from the fake’s eyes and mouth.  Just in case she thought to check, he left her a clue that he wasn’t really gone – there were no burnt wing-prints.

Conversation continued in the room as Kali pointed out that archangels could die and now they had the weapon that could do it.

Gabriel just slumped down on the bed, waiting for the inevitable.

 

Screams echoed through the hotel as Lucifer made his way to the ballroom.

Gabriel hung his head, knowing that Loki was going to blame him for this, even though he was here to try and save everyone.

If only they’d listened.

He was stuck here, though.  Kali had him by the short and curlies with that blood spell.  If Lucifer killed her, though, he could get out of here.

But could he stand to listen to her being killed?  She’d betrayed him, but still…

Still a part of Gabriel loved her.  He loved all of the bastards that Lucifer was killing, but Kali especially.

So when he felt Kali try to burn Lucifer and fail, he knew what he needed to do.

This might literally kill him, but he had no choice.  He teleported back into the ballroom.

Lucifer raised his foot to stomp on Kali, but Gabriel shoved a hand out, blowing Lucifer through the doors and into the hallway.

“Luci, I’m ho-ome,” he said, sing-song. 

Lucifer stood slowly, barely reacting to the fact that Gabriel was there.  Then again, he’d been in the cage so long, maybe he hadn’t _known_ that Gabriel left Heaven.

Lurching forward, Lucifer tried to push Gabriel back with his own power.

“Not this time,” Gabriel said.  He reached down and helped Kali stand.  “Lucifer, we’re leaving and you’re going to let us.  Surely you’ve spilled enough blood tonight, even for you.”

“Gabriel, really?  All this for a girl?  A pagan?  I mean, I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn’t catch anything.”

Yeah, that was his brother.  Gabriel smiled a little.  “Lucifer, you’re my brother and I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks.”

Lucifer frowned.  “Wait, what did you just say to me?”

Gabriel shuffled around the room, circling his brother and trusting that Kali was staying behind him.  “You heard me.  Look at yourself!  Boo hoo, Daddy was mean to me, so I’m gonna smash up all his toys.”

“Watch your tone,” warned Lucifer.

The doors opened behind him and Gabriel heard Kali run down the hall, jumping over the bodies.  He expected to feel the blood spell pull on him, but it didn’t.

She was going to let him sacrifice himself, wasn’t she?

Too bad Gabriel wasn’t going to do that.

“Play the victim all you want,” he said to Lucifer.  “But you and me?  We know the truth.  Dad loved you best – more than Michael, more than me.  Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn’t handle it.  So this is all just one big temper tantrum.  Time to grow up.”

“Gabriel, if you’re doing this for Michael–”

“Screw him.  If he were standing here, I’d shiv his ass too.”  Gabriel glanced behind him.  “But you know what?  Today’s your lucky day.  I’m not going to fight you.”

“Scared?” taunted Lucifer.

“Sane,” countered Gabriel.  Before Lucifer could grab onto him, he zapped himself out to the parking lot, where Kali waited, shivering in the light rain.

“Get us out of here,” she instructed.

“Oh sure,” Gabriel said.  “No ‘sorry for trying to kill you’ or ‘thanks for saving me?’”

She glared and he knew that was the best he was going to get.

“Fine,” he sighed and reached out for her hand.  The quickest and easiest place to escape to was–

–his apartment. 

Max barked at the newcomer.  Gabriel shushed him while Kali looked around disdainfully.

“You brought me _here_?” she asked.  “This is tacky.”

Gabriel grinned.  “Yeah.  Like it?”

She glared at him.

He held her gaze, refusing to back down.  “Where do you want me to take you?” he asked.  “I’ll drop you off anywhere once you undo this spell.”

“I shouldn’t,” Kali said.  “I should make you my tame archangel.”

For the first time in a very long time, Gabriel let his archangelic power well up in him, turning his eyes blue and making the lights flicker.  “That wouldn’t be wise,” he warned.  “You’ve seen how easy it was for my brother to destroy the rest of you.  Think of what I could do to you.”

Kali actually looked shaken.  “Fine,” she said and waved her hands. 

Gabriel felt the blood bond dissipate.  Lucifer must have really scared her.  If only she’d listened to him in the first place.

“Where to?” he asked, purposefully keeping his tone serious.

“Kalighat Kali?” she said.

Her temple.  Seat of her power.  Made sense.

Gabriel gestured to the door.  “Be careful.”

She opened the door, the temple appearing behind her.  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

“Like you care,” Gabriel said.  She didn’t respond and he sighed.  “Lay low.  Try not to watch my brothers kill each other.”

She nodded and left, closing the door behind her.

Gabriel stood there for a moment, silent, until Max trotted up to him.

“Hey, buddy,” he said, leaning down to pet the dog.  “Looks like it’s going to be just you and me here for a long while.”

Concentrating, Gabriel made the door disappear, fortifying the walls between this pocket universe and the real one out there.

Maybe, just maybe, that’d be enough to keep safe until after the Apocalypse was over.

In the meantime, he always had the TV.

There was just one channel and everything was on.


End file.
